At least once a week or so we seem to come across a quote on Instagram or an article in our inboxes that pertains to the subject of how to practice non-attachment in love. Doesn’t the concept make your head hurt a bit? I know that I try to get my mind around it, but find that it can get away from me rather quickly. I think we all understand that it’s about loving without expectations, and about giving the other person their own independence, all while recognizing the fragility of relationships and knowing that they could suddenly end. We can definitely see how these ideas foster a sense of living in the present moment, and encourage us to value the time we spend with the people we love the most. Who among us would argue with any of this? Certainly not me. And yet, the reality of being completely non-attached doesn’t sit quite right with us. Am I right? I think it’s because we believe in the collision that occurs when the universe puts two people in one another’s path. I think we long to crash into, or smash into our person, depending on whether it’s a Dave Matthews or Beyoncé playlist that we’re listening to that morning. And when that crash occurs, we want to hold on. Forever, if we’re lucky. It’s our natural instinct to do so.

I’ve always believed that as humans, we all have tiny bumps and indentations that line up just right. They allow us to attach together like magnets and form an interconnected pattern. We separate when we need to and live our independent lives, but we find our way back quite easily and snap right into place again. The level of connection varies, of course, depending on the nature of the relationship. It’s going to feel quite a bit different between friends and family than it does between significant others, but it’s there nonetheless, and it’s equally valid. So I believe in attachment. I love the feeling of knowing that a person fits me, and the nearly audible sound of something falling into place between us so perfectly. Where then does attachment go wrong? I think that the interconnectedness that we feel can go awry when we hold on too tightly, or when we refuse to let go even when something has come to an end. I think there are times when we become entangled, rather than just attached, wrapped up in another person so much that we cause damage, especially when we finally try to extricate ourselves. I think we often lose sight of the person with whom we have an attachment, and shift our focus to be on the outcome of our connection, rather on the relationship itself. We create complications where there really don’t need to be any, and we attempt to turn our expectations into reality, even though we have no control over anything. It all belongs to the universe. But if we can learn to let go, especially when it comes to love, and allow life’s plan to unfold, then I believe we can allow ourselves to admit to an attachment that is healthy, and that still allows mutual respect and independence.

For today’s cocktail, I knew that I wanted to focus on using turmeric as an ingredient because it symbolizes both inner purity and inner pride. If the attachment that we feel is pure and based solely on love and not love’s outcome, then we will strengthen whatever connection we have. If we are prideful and unable to relinquish control over to the universe, then we will do nothing but damage. I also tried to choose ingredients that had a certain level of complexity, but I used them in a cocktail that was a straightforward sour. When we love another person in any capacity, there is simplicity in the feeling that is in our hearts. It’s our heads that have a tendency to overcomplicate things. I started with Bluecoat Barrel Finished gin, because the resting process brings such a deeper level of flavor. I added Yellow Chartreuse because it’s made from a centuries old recipe and over 130 ingredients. Element’s Pineapple Turmeric shrub is more than just pineapple juice, and a simple syrup that is infused with turmeric is more than one that is not. This cocktail totally worked for me. The turmeric rang through loud and clear, but was balanced by the depth of gin and the herbal notes of the Chartreuse. It was powerful, just like love, and I had to let the flavors unfold, without any control or expectations. Cheers everyone. Happy Friday!

Untangle Me

2 oz Bluecoat Barrel Finished gin
¼ oz Yellow Chartreuse
1 oz Element Pineapple Turmeric shrub
½ oz turmeric simple syrup*
½ oz lemon juice

Add all the ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice and shake until very cold. Double strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Enjoy!

*You can use an actual piece of turmeric here and allow it to steep as the simple syrup cools, or add turmeric juice or powder (sparingly) to simple syrup.