I’m going to guess that the movie He’s Just Not That Into You doesn’t need much in the way of an introduction. It’s a fairly huge hit from 2009 that grossed $181 million at box offices worldwide. I know that when I happen to see it playing while channel surfing I cannot resist watching it, even if just for a few minutes. My favorite storyline is the one between Beth (Jennifer Aniston) and Neil (Ben Affleck) because who cannot love his marriage proposal at the end, but I confess to finding the absolute sleazefest that goes on between Anna (Scarlet Johansson) and Ben (Bradley Cooper) to be almost as compelling. In a rubbernecker sort of way, of course. Alas, the characters in these two plot lines do not spend any time in bars, so I’m not really able to work them into today’s post. Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Alex (Justin Long), however, most definitely do, so I will happily stick with them.

Gigi is the girl who makes a thousand excuses for all the guys she dates who never call her back. “Maybe he did call and I didn’t get the message, or maybe he lost my number, or is out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died…” She literally makes us cringe because, let’s be honest, we’ve all done this at one time or another. She first meets Alex while attempting to stalk Conor (Kevin Connelly) who has NOT called her back. Alex owns an upscale, busy bar that’s totally believable as the type of spot where young professionals would gather and meet, and he just happens to be bartending on the very night that Gigi comes in. He offers her advice, despite the fact that he’s very busy, and then later the scene switches to just the two of them talking alone after hours. This is where Alex explains his Rule vs. Exception Theory that rings resoundingly true, but is often the most difficult thing in the world to hear. “If a guy doesn’t call you he doesn’t want to call you,” he tells her. That’s the rule, but most girls want to believe that they will be the exception, and that the guy will eventually reconsider, even though days, weeks, or months have gone by.

Let’s forget about gender for a moment. The fact is that we’ve all found ourselves to be guilty of Gigi’s hopeful logic at some point in our lives, and we’ve probably had someone who was willing to tell us that the person we were hoping to hear from is never going to call us. Why is it that we do this to ourselves? I think that it’s a natural tendency to want to see someone again if you’ve found them to be super attractive, and it can be hard to accept the fact that they don’t feel the same way. Of course we’re going to check our text messages and voicemail in the hopes that one of Gigi’s scenarios might have actually occurred. It descends into a bit of madness when we’re still checking after weeks have gone by, or when we’re calling and leaving messages like Conor’s character that are something along the lines of “I’m letting you know that I’m going to bed now, just in case you were planning to call me.” I’ve done that too. Oh come on, haven’t you?? And it’s probably not a great idea to stalk someone’s house late at night, unless you’re in high school when it’s a required rite of passage.

I think part of the answer can be found in the second conversation that Gigi and Alex have in a separate bar where he tells her that it’s really the drama that we’re drawn to and not the person who hasn’t called. In fact, sometimes we didn’t even like the person all that much, and the date was really not all that great, but we keep hoping and spinning and chasing because we’ve become obsessed with the idea of being that exception. At the end of the day, when the attraction is mutual and the spark that Alex claims is fictional is really there, there’s just no way that we’re not going to call or text. In fact, we might not even wait until person gets home! All the rules go out the window, and we’re not even thinking about exceptions. But it’s a rare occurrence when this actually happens, so we’re content to settle for that absolutely blissful moment when Alex tell Gigi that she’s HIS exception. It doesn’t hurt that the Keane song “Somewhere Only We Know” is playing in the background…

Today’s cocktail is a simple Raspberry Martini made with Bombay Sapphire, Chambord and Dolin Blanc vermouth, with the addition of the beautiful Snow Maiden cloudy saké from Tozai. I wanted the drink to be pink and innocent looking and very hopeful, because there’s every reason in the world to be exactly that. Cheers everyone. Happy Monday!

You’re My Exception

2 oz Bombay Sapphire gin
1/4 oz Chambord
1/4 oz Dolin Blanc vermouth
1/2 oz Tozai Snow Maiden saké
6 raspberries

Muddle the raspberries with the Chambord and the Dolin Blanc in the bottom of a mixing glass. Add the remaining ingredients with ice and stir until very cold. Double strain into a chilled Martini glass. Garnish with a raspberry. Enjoy!